Published on Linkedin, February 24, 2024 (source)
Navigating the complexities of working under a pathologically narcissistic Boss can be a daunting task. Here's a guide to maneuvering through each scenario with the good, the bad, the ugly, and the great ways:
1. Penalizing the Employee
Scenario: You've got assignment that is not urgent then the Boss asked why there isn’t any update, then you are punished to fly + 8hours trip for a remote assignment, immediately.
The Good: Seek clarification on priorities and document communications for your records.Seeking clarification promotes open communication and ensures you have a clear understanding of expectations.
The Bad: Silently resent the criticism without seeking to understand the underlying expectations.Silent resentment breeds a toxic environment and solves nothing, potentially harming your mental health.
The Ugly: Publicly confront the Boss about the inconsistency, likely escalating tensions.Public confrontation can escalate tensions and damage professional relationships.
The Great: Initiate a constructive dialogue about setting realistic, clear goals and ways to measure success, possibly through a third-party mediator or HR.Constructive dialogue fosters problem-solving and can lead to systemic improvements, benefiting everyone involved.
2. The Blame Game
Scenario: Somethings are not executed according to what the Boss' want. Partially because his direction is very vague while he becomes the bottle next. Then you are threatened to get terminated, if you don't tell him who is to blame.
The Good Way: Accept responsibility for your part and outline a plan for improvement.Accepting responsibility and outlining a plan shows maturity and a commitment to growth.
The Bad Way: Pass the blame onto someone else in the team, perpetuating a toxic cycle.Passing the blame undermines trust within the team and avoids accountability.
The Ugly Way: Accuse the Boss directly of their misguidance, risking immediate fallout.Direct accusations can lead to retaliatory actions from the Boss, risking your position.
The Great Way: Use the situation as a learning opportunity, proposing a system for better project tracking and accountability across the team.Learning from the situation and proposing systemic changes can help prevent future issues, demonstrating leadership.
3. Gaslighting Galore
Scenario: The Boss tells you to prioritize a project A in a meeting. When you do, they deny ever saying it and insist the priority was always project B.
The Good Way: Keep detailed records of all instructions and communications for reference.Keeping records is a proactive way to protect yourself from false accusations.
The Bad Way: Start doubting your own memory or capabilities, undermining your confidence.Doubting yourself can lead to decreased self-esteem and effectiveness at work.
The Ugly Way: Publicly challenge the Boss's version of events, potentially damaging your professional reputation.Public challenges can make you a target for further gaslighting and manipulation.
The Great Way: Request written confirmations for all directives and, if necessary, discreetly seek HR's advice on handling discrepancies.Written confirmations and HR advice provide a solid foundation for addressing discrepancies and protect against gaslighting.
4. The Budget Tightrope
Scenario: After requesting funds for essential software upgrades, the Boss denies your request citing budget constraints but then announces a costly office redesign.
The Good Way: Present a well-researched proposal highlighting the ROI of necessary expenditures.A well-researched proposal shows initiative and problem-solving skills, potentially leading to positive change.
The Bad Way: Complain about budget constraints without offering solutions, adding to the negativity.Complaining without offering solutions can make you appear unconstructive.
The Ugly Way: Go over budget without approval, hoping for forgiveness rather than permission.Unauthorized spending can lead to serious consequences, including job loss.
The Great Way: Innovate cost-effective solutions that align with budget constraints while pushing for strategic investments in critical areas.Innovating within constraints demonstrates creativity and resilience, key traits for leadership.
5. Credit Heist
Scenario: You introduce an innovative marketing strategy that significantly increases leads. At the quarterly meeting, the Boss presents your strategy as their idea.
The Good Way: Politely assert your contribution in team meetings or through follow-up emails highlighting everyone's efforts.Asserting your contribution helps ensure your work is recognized without direct confrontation.
The Bad Way: Harbour resentment and reduce your initiative, decreasing overall morale and productivity.Harbouring resentment without action can lead to diseng